Poseur

Lest anyone mistake me for cool, please let me clarify: I am a moron. I am a complete fool. I may travel but I am not well traveled. I am a bumbling idiot here, there and everywhere. (And everyone I know is like, there was never a less necessary disclaimer.)

Morons are generally easily amused. Behold, me amusing me. This is a pose I call the "Japanese tourist." I mean no offense to the Japanese or to tourists or to any combo. It was inspired by the Japanese roommate of a girl I once knew who had a screen saver of herself flashing the peace sign at every major world landmark. I could watch that thing for hours.





Variations on a theme: changing it up, thumbs up style.



Photos by the very well shod Laura.

It is a well known fact...

...that no one in France has a sense of humor.

o

A giant frozen yogurt changes nothing!

Damn sentiment.

Every time I see a bookstore, especially when it is crammed with stacks and looks like it smells of pages, I think, I bet my friend Erin would love that place. And that makes me feel at home.

The Half McCain.

So this past week, I've been to Paris. And I've been to the dentist to get my remaining wisdom teeth sucked out of my jaw. More on both (probably more on Paris) when I have fully recovered.

In the meantime, here is a photo of me in Paris, doing what I do, eating. The very fine Parisian Laura took this photo- I will be "borrowing" her superior photos often. I should just borrow her entire superior life.



Picture the above photo with a nice swollen cheek, like I've been packing in walnuts all winter and running in a primary. Half McCain is my new rap name.

BLT

City by the Sea.

A few weekends ago, I decided to drag Aabir to Coney Island. I like the beach when it's cold- it's quiet and the grays of the sky and sea match my preferred wardrobe palate. Behold- the glorious, doomed Coney Island boardwalk.
It's a beautiful dump, isn't it? But it is a dump. And sensible people stay away in the winter. Behold- a video of the sun shining on my nose. The beginning cuts off but I don't think it loses any of the vital narrative.

Another video- this time of a kid running around some birds. Fascinating I know. It's a shame the beginning of this one did not cut off, as I can be heard saying "run kid."


The boardwalk connects the Coney Island subway stop with Brighton Beach, Russia's answer to Chinatown. The streets are filled with natives speaking their language, buying their food. The Starbucks has an English to Russian drink guide posted. I really enjoy Brighton Beach but what I cannot understand is, with the miles of beautiful shoreline, the community is built under the subway tracks. Case in point:





You know those "I'd rather be naked than wear fur" ads? Now you don't have to chose!

I like DVDs.

We were sitting on the platform of the metro tram after a long day. A young man approached us and we both winced a little. The sky was getting dusky and we wanted to be back in our room with the door locked. (Turkish men can be persistent- see knees.) But he looked nice enough and stammered out an excuse me. And then just stammered.

Linda said, you want to practice your English? (People had been asking to practice with us all day.)

And he did.

He started with basic questions, where are you from, what do you do? The train came and we piled on, sharing a four top with an old man. He asked about our hobbies. I like DVDs, he said.

And then he asked, do you think the United States is currently functioning as a democracy?

Good God.

My brain was whirling too fast to respond but Linda managed a respectable reply about the promise of the coming election. I piggybacked with something about the beauty of the system being flexible enough to correct itself. He listened and then said, oh, I hope it works because the rest of the world needs democracy and deserves a solid example.

We were shamed ten times a day by polite, gentle inquires as to what the Hell our government was doing.

A crowd of artifacts.

I am enclosing the following video not because it is brilliant (it is not) but because I was standing there, between Sofia and the Blue Mosque, when I realized how utterly strange it was, to be able to stand in such a space. I live in New York so I'm no stranger to national landmarks but somehow the magnitude of these two buildings facing each other was larger than anything I've experienced before. I wanted to take a quick video because the 360 degree impact was lost in pictures. As you can see, it is also the apex of tourism but with such important sites, I can understand it. Plus, a cabdriver waves! Whee!